RTFM*
Door: Yaisa
Blijf op de hoogte en volg Yaisa
20 Juli 2008 | Egypte, El Gouna
*Read The Fucking Manual
10 days... I’ve been in El Gouna for 10 days now. It’s Saturday night, 0.30 am, and I’m supposed to be studying for my Divemaster Course (yes, 3 study books in total) but I’m in a so-many-new-things overload mode and therefore in need to write.
As I arrived at Hurghada airport and was warmly welcomed by Darja & Ivan, they gave me my first welcome-to-El Gouna-present. They had arranged for me to have my own 2 bedroom apartment, right behind their house, 20 meters from one of the laguna’s (for which El Gouna is famous), near downtown, near the diving centre where I am now doing my divemaster’s, near the New Marina with it’s restaurants and cafe’s... I couldn’t believe my luck! I felt home from the very first second I got here.
So now, every morning I get up at 7.30 am, put on my bikini, shorts, a t-shirt, my Cuban flip-flops and smear on a thick layer of sun protection, wrap a bandana around my head (not to be a wannabe, but to protect my hear from the scorching sun, the saltiest sea in the world and the dusty wind) and after downing half a liter of water, I walk to the dive centre at 8 am in the already hot sun. There, I’m already becoming sort of a staff member. As a divemaster in training, I am supposed to learn the whole deal: next to guiding under water, being prepared for diving emergencies, assisting the diving instructors and doing some basic teaching myself, I need to learn how things run at the shop and on the boats, how to check in and check out guests, you name it. So I’m working with the team as much as I can, next to my own course. So I’m currently paying THEM to help THEM. But it’s part of the drill. Once I’m certified, they will pay me, albeit a minimal fraction of what I used to earn up until two months ago. But hey, I’m not in it for the money. And it’s fun. I’m having fun with the staff, I’m having a lot of fun with my instructor, I’m having a lot of fun with Darja & Ivan and Stefano (Ivan’s brother, yes, they’re Italian) and all their friends... So honestly, I don’t give two hoots about the money.
To get certified as a divemaster, hopefully in about two or three weeks, I’ll have to do a theoretical exam, some practical tests (rescue or some other stress scenario, make a map of a dive site, guide divers under water, etc...) and I have to pass a Waterskill and Stamina test. That’s where the fun began. The first day of my course, on the boat during lunch break between two dives, Gijs (my instructor, Dutch) asked whether I would like to do the first stamina test. Water treading for 15 mins. Fine, I said! He and Lars (Swedish, one of the divemasters) discussed what the test was exactly. Oh, said Lars, it’s 10 mins of floating or any way you want as long as you keep your face out of the water, then 3 minutes with your hands above the water and then 2 mins with your elbows above the water... OK, said Gijs, off you go Yaisa! So the two guys (and the entire boat crew plus all the guests) watched me as I was water treading in the salty, wavy Red Sea. Happy go lucky the first 10 mins, then dying a very very very slow death the last 5 mins... Yeah, you’re doing great, keep going!, I heard coming from the boat as I was swallowing my next gulp of sea water, thinking “I’m pretty fucking sure that this is not the test Nicole had to do when she did her divemasters...”. But hey, I hadn’t read the fucking manual yet, so I didn’t know for sure... I got a 3 out of 5 score because I hadn’t kept my elbows above the water all the time and I came out like a drowned, exhausted cat.
That evening, I opened my fresh copy of the divemaster manual and found out that it was 13 mins of face above the water and ONLY 2 mins of hands above the water. The bastards, che testa di cazzo... So the next morning I cursed at those two blond idiots who did nothing else but grin at me and I requested a retrial. And yesterday, in the swimming pool (no salt, so less buoyancy, but at least no waves) I scored my first 5 of the course. I’m going for no less than an optimum score, naturally... (She said with naive confidence...)
Of course, I’ve made an ass of myself several other times already. Once, I jumped in the water with all my gear on, but forgot my fins. So Lars (who aside from this is quite nice, believe me) goes and shouts to everybody on the boat and the other diving boat next to us, “Hey guys, Yaisa jumped in the water without her fins! Gijs, your trainee, just went in without her fins!” That, of course, is the standard joke they pull on everybody who does that. There is nothing more stupid than a diver, let alone a divemaster (in training) jumping in the water without fins, so like real sport, I took on all the grins and the jokes. And believe me, I’ll never again jump into the water without my fins on... Then Gijs showed me some feature on my diving computer I didn’t know existed. I told him it was a new computer and that I hadn’t read the instructions yet. He looked at me, looked up in the air, sighed, shook his head and said smiling... RTFM....
In the meantime, I have assisted a couple of diving courses too. I watched (under and above water) how Gijs introduces people to the world of diving, demonstrates underwater exercises and then takes them on their first dive ever... How cool is that, to see how people go from anxious in the swimming pool to completely exhilirated in their first open water dive, waving at the underwater videographer (in casu Darja - who is the best videographer in the whole of El Gouna and surroundings, and yes, I’m biased but it’s still true), swimming after each and every little or big fish, pointing at everything that swims... Today, I was role playing the victim during a rescue diving course. A German guy saved my life about 20 times, gave me mouth-to-mouth about 10 times and I drank half of the pool in the process, but again, I had so much fun!
Each day, I feel I’m gaining experience, I get more comfortable with my diving equipment, which by now I might even be able to set up blindfolded and I’m seriously convinced that I’m going to love this job. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a holiday. Maybe now still a little, but as soon as I’ll be working for real, it’s going to be hard work. Common knowledge is (and I’ve already observed that it’s true), that 90% of the tourists that come here leave their brains at home. They are on holiday, so they don’t think. Add that on top of an already logistically complex day and you can perhaps imagine that it’s no walk in the park. And you only get four days off per month. And I really mean just four days. Weekends don’t exist here. But I love it. Despite the dust, the sweltering heat, the early mornings, the dust, the crazy traffic, the stupid tourists, did I mention the dust? I love it all.
Anyway, here are a few “New Life’s” resolutions I will strive to accomplish during my stay in El Gouna:
- learn how to speak Italian (I discovered I already understand 80%!)
- learn how to communicate with the boat crew in Arabic. So far the extent of my vocab is: hello, thank you, good, no good, slowly, enough and inshallah, and that’s of course not enough
- keep hydrating my face, body and hair with an obscene amount of expensive creams, sun protection, conditioner, masks, scrubs, etc... because I think mummies are cool but not when I see them in the mirror
- keep doing yoga (new classes starting in August, jippieee!)
- never take the ferry from Hurghada to Sharm
- and become a hell of a divemaster.
La vita e bella (as long as you read the fucking manual...)!!!
Lots of nitrox bubbles,
xYx
10 days... I’ve been in El Gouna for 10 days now. It’s Saturday night, 0.30 am, and I’m supposed to be studying for my Divemaster Course (yes, 3 study books in total) but I’m in a so-many-new-things overload mode and therefore in need to write.
As I arrived at Hurghada airport and was warmly welcomed by Darja & Ivan, they gave me my first welcome-to-El Gouna-present. They had arranged for me to have my own 2 bedroom apartment, right behind their house, 20 meters from one of the laguna’s (for which El Gouna is famous), near downtown, near the diving centre where I am now doing my divemaster’s, near the New Marina with it’s restaurants and cafe’s... I couldn’t believe my luck! I felt home from the very first second I got here.
So now, every morning I get up at 7.30 am, put on my bikini, shorts, a t-shirt, my Cuban flip-flops and smear on a thick layer of sun protection, wrap a bandana around my head (not to be a wannabe, but to protect my hear from the scorching sun, the saltiest sea in the world and the dusty wind) and after downing half a liter of water, I walk to the dive centre at 8 am in the already hot sun. There, I’m already becoming sort of a staff member. As a divemaster in training, I am supposed to learn the whole deal: next to guiding under water, being prepared for diving emergencies, assisting the diving instructors and doing some basic teaching myself, I need to learn how things run at the shop and on the boats, how to check in and check out guests, you name it. So I’m working with the team as much as I can, next to my own course. So I’m currently paying THEM to help THEM. But it’s part of the drill. Once I’m certified, they will pay me, albeit a minimal fraction of what I used to earn up until two months ago. But hey, I’m not in it for the money. And it’s fun. I’m having fun with the staff, I’m having a lot of fun with my instructor, I’m having a lot of fun with Darja & Ivan and Stefano (Ivan’s brother, yes, they’re Italian) and all their friends... So honestly, I don’t give two hoots about the money.
To get certified as a divemaster, hopefully in about two or three weeks, I’ll have to do a theoretical exam, some practical tests (rescue or some other stress scenario, make a map of a dive site, guide divers under water, etc...) and I have to pass a Waterskill and Stamina test. That’s where the fun began. The first day of my course, on the boat during lunch break between two dives, Gijs (my instructor, Dutch) asked whether I would like to do the first stamina test. Water treading for 15 mins. Fine, I said! He and Lars (Swedish, one of the divemasters) discussed what the test was exactly. Oh, said Lars, it’s 10 mins of floating or any way you want as long as you keep your face out of the water, then 3 minutes with your hands above the water and then 2 mins with your elbows above the water... OK, said Gijs, off you go Yaisa! So the two guys (and the entire boat crew plus all the guests) watched me as I was water treading in the salty, wavy Red Sea. Happy go lucky the first 10 mins, then dying a very very very slow death the last 5 mins... Yeah, you’re doing great, keep going!, I heard coming from the boat as I was swallowing my next gulp of sea water, thinking “I’m pretty fucking sure that this is not the test Nicole had to do when she did her divemasters...”. But hey, I hadn’t read the fucking manual yet, so I didn’t know for sure... I got a 3 out of 5 score because I hadn’t kept my elbows above the water all the time and I came out like a drowned, exhausted cat.
That evening, I opened my fresh copy of the divemaster manual and found out that it was 13 mins of face above the water and ONLY 2 mins of hands above the water. The bastards, che testa di cazzo... So the next morning I cursed at those two blond idiots who did nothing else but grin at me and I requested a retrial. And yesterday, in the swimming pool (no salt, so less buoyancy, but at least no waves) I scored my first 5 of the course. I’m going for no less than an optimum score, naturally... (She said with naive confidence...)
Of course, I’ve made an ass of myself several other times already. Once, I jumped in the water with all my gear on, but forgot my fins. So Lars (who aside from this is quite nice, believe me) goes and shouts to everybody on the boat and the other diving boat next to us, “Hey guys, Yaisa jumped in the water without her fins! Gijs, your trainee, just went in without her fins!” That, of course, is the standard joke they pull on everybody who does that. There is nothing more stupid than a diver, let alone a divemaster (in training) jumping in the water without fins, so like real sport, I took on all the grins and the jokes. And believe me, I’ll never again jump into the water without my fins on... Then Gijs showed me some feature on my diving computer I didn’t know existed. I told him it was a new computer and that I hadn’t read the instructions yet. He looked at me, looked up in the air, sighed, shook his head and said smiling... RTFM....
In the meantime, I have assisted a couple of diving courses too. I watched (under and above water) how Gijs introduces people to the world of diving, demonstrates underwater exercises and then takes them on their first dive ever... How cool is that, to see how people go from anxious in the swimming pool to completely exhilirated in their first open water dive, waving at the underwater videographer (in casu Darja - who is the best videographer in the whole of El Gouna and surroundings, and yes, I’m biased but it’s still true), swimming after each and every little or big fish, pointing at everything that swims... Today, I was role playing the victim during a rescue diving course. A German guy saved my life about 20 times, gave me mouth-to-mouth about 10 times and I drank half of the pool in the process, but again, I had so much fun!
Each day, I feel I’m gaining experience, I get more comfortable with my diving equipment, which by now I might even be able to set up blindfolded and I’m seriously convinced that I’m going to love this job. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a holiday. Maybe now still a little, but as soon as I’ll be working for real, it’s going to be hard work. Common knowledge is (and I’ve already observed that it’s true), that 90% of the tourists that come here leave their brains at home. They are on holiday, so they don’t think. Add that on top of an already logistically complex day and you can perhaps imagine that it’s no walk in the park. And you only get four days off per month. And I really mean just four days. Weekends don’t exist here. But I love it. Despite the dust, the sweltering heat, the early mornings, the dust, the crazy traffic, the stupid tourists, did I mention the dust? I love it all.
Anyway, here are a few “New Life’s” resolutions I will strive to accomplish during my stay in El Gouna:
- learn how to speak Italian (I discovered I already understand 80%!)
- learn how to communicate with the boat crew in Arabic. So far the extent of my vocab is: hello, thank you, good, no good, slowly, enough and inshallah, and that’s of course not enough
- keep hydrating my face, body and hair with an obscene amount of expensive creams, sun protection, conditioner, masks, scrubs, etc... because I think mummies are cool but not when I see them in the mirror
- keep doing yoga (new classes starting in August, jippieee!)
- never take the ferry from Hurghada to Sharm
- and become a hell of a divemaster.
La vita e bella (as long as you read the fucking manual...)!!!
Lots of nitrox bubbles,
xYx
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21 Juli 2008 - 16:06
Theo:
Yep nice writing.
And the divemaster manual will follow you the rest of you dive life. You will read it and read it again.
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21 Juli 2008 - 18:21
Kiok:
ik heb het voor me,geweldig,geniet van je avontuur lieve yaisa -
30 Juli 2008 - 15:08
Wendy:
Continue to post your stories.....luv to read them n most importantly to know that u'r doing fine! Cheers
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