Taxi!

“You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?”
(Robert De Niro as Travis Bickle, Taxi Driver, 1976)


Taxi’s… I just love Singapore taxi’s.

I love the convenience of it, they’re cheap (compared to the bloody rip-offs in Holland), they’re everywhere (except during peak hours and rainy days), they will always take you on board and they don’t cheat you.

The cars are leased by the drivers from the government and to break-even, they need to earn about SGD 90 per shift. The average taxi ride probably costs about SGD 8,--. Each taxi is on the road almost 24/7 and has two drivers; the day driver and the night driver. After each shift, the car is washed and cleaned and handed over to the next shift.

Taxi drivers provide you with a wealth of local knowledge; they can tell you about the best restaurants in town, about local habits, about politics, about events worthwhile visiting and sometimes they talk about their own love and life. For a good taxi ride however, there must be a match between your and his need for conversation. Sometimes he’s grumpy or he hardly speaks English and there is not much sense in talking. Sometimes I don’t feel like saying anything and prefer to look out of the window and watch the city go by. But sometimes, there is a click between us and then you wish the ride wasn’t so short.

Here are a few of the most memorable taxi rides I’ve had.

The plant lady
She had a taxi decorated with plants, real plants. They were all over the place, hanging from the seats, on the dashboard, by the rear window. She talked and talked and talked, I couldn’t understand a word of what she was saying. She gave us a cookie and then asked us to sign her little guestbook. Many passengers before us had already done so. I believe she mentioned something about her boss not being happy about all those plants. OK, given, she was a bit crazy and talked gibberish, but she got us from A to Z and definitely meant well. So I supported her lobby and signed her booklet. “Love the plants, thanks for the cookie! Yaisa from the Netherlands.”

The Formula 1 racer
The first hurdle of the trip was a huge roundabout which we had to drive around three-quarters. He stepped on it as soon as we got in and crushed me against Timmo and Timmo against the door. As the car got off the roundabout, I was thrown into the other door and Timmo landed on me. We both grabbed the handles, looked at eachother and checked our safety belts. He then raced over the highway in half the time the average driver does, got off at the exit like there was no tomorrow, made the green light by a split second and chucked us out of the car before we realised we were home. We should have written down his licence plate to file a complaint, but he was gone before we could blink. Well, we lived to tell… :-)

The comedian
He had a very loud voice and started telling us one joke after the other. Although he spoke English, his accent was so heavily Chinese that I didn’t get any of them, so I laughed at his cue. At the end of each joke, he would laugh so loud that I had to laugh anyway, it was just contagious. There were four of us in the cab after a night out and halfway the ride, he told us he wanted to sing a song for us. So he turned on his CD player and on came “Hotel California”. We all sang along (well, I think Timmo wanted to melt into his seat out of embarrassment) and gave him a big tip for his entertaining performance.

The heart patient
He was a middle-aged man who started talking about his very sad, sad life. Had two kids, one of which wasn’t doing too well in school and he was very worried about him (because doing well in school is extremely important in Singapore). And then his own illnesses… I can’t remember them all, but I remember he had heart problems, kidney problems, pain in all his bones and there was also something with his brain. How’s that for a safe ride… :-) He had to go to the hospital on a weekly basis, but remarkably enough, he wasn’t complaining. His motto was to stay positive and enjoy life as much as possible. Admirable! Got a big tip too.

The listener
He was just really nice. As I came out of IKEA with 15 bags filled with stuff for my new appartment, he asked me whether I had just moved to Singapore. I said I had been here for over a year, but that I had moved houses. Did I have to move because the rent was too high? No, I said, because my boyfriend and I broke up. Ayaaah, so sorry! Why, he cheat you? Eeeh… no, not exactly… How long you together? More than 10 years… Ayaaah, long time! Then why break up? Well… (think, think), sometimes you just fall out of love… Yes, I see, can happen lah… But now, you have nice new home, with nice new things (IKEA, yeah right) and you have good new beginning, ok lah? And then he helped me carry all my bags to the elevator, wished me all the best and got a big tip as well.

The gambler
As I jumped into his car to go from one shopping mall to the other, he said “Very goooood! After work, go shopping, be happy!” I agreed with him and said that there was no use in going to your grave with a large sum on your bank account. Then I asked if he was a happy man. He said: “Yis, velly ‘appy, lah! I wok, go clean cah, go hom to tree son an one dotter and then I ‘appy! I fiz gambah, gambah o’ time, twinny faiv yis, but now stop. My waif die now over six yis an she tell me, befoh she die: you gambah, you no taxi. You no gambah, you taxi. So I stop gambah an now velly ‘appy!” (see below for translation from Singlish into English)

I just love Singapore taxi’s…

**
Possible translation 1:
“Yes, very happy! I work, go clean car, go home to three sons and one daughter and then, I happy! I first gamble, gamble all time, 25 years, but now stop. My wife die now over 6 years and she tell me, before she die: you gamble, you no taxi. You no gamble, you taxi. So I stop gamble and now very happy”

Possible translation 2:
If you don’t fucking stop gambling, you won’t be able to feed our 4 children, so get your act together and earn some proper money.

Possible translation 3:
My nagging wife finally died, so I’m happy at last.