It's a Wicked culture

We had been driving around for three days since we got up North, desperately looking for a place to fish Barramundi.

Barramundi: one of the main reasons, if not THE reason why Stefano suggested (or rather unilaterally decided) that it would be a better idea to follow the South Coast only until Port Lincoln and then drive North via Uluru (Ayer’s Rock) and head for Barra-Mecca (anywhere between Katherine, Darwin and Kununurra), considering April/May is the best season to catch them. The last fishing had been in Port Lincoln, so the rods had been lying idle in the back of the camper van for 10 days and the closer we got to the North coast, the more anxious my Italian fisherman was getting.

In Port Lincoln we had spent a whole morning catching salmon trout, kind of small but very very tasty... Just before sunrise, Stefano had packed up the camper van, leaving me sleeping in the back and drove out to the harbour to start catching the day’s dinner. After enjoying a few more minutes of precious sleep, I joined him and we stood there, baited lines in the water, watching the sun rise in the sky, the resident seal splashing around, the neighbouring pelican floating near the jetty and some visiting dolphins passing by... 25 hooked fish later (of which we kept the 12 biggest ones, keeping in mind the legal minimum size), we drove off, heading for Cooper Peedy, the opal mining city in the middle of the desert.

Another desert we had already crossed before was the Nullarbor, an endless plain without any trees - hence the name. Driving through this barren landscape, with an oncoming vehicle about four times an hour, no sign of living beings except for a bird here and there and some dead kangaroos along the road, gave me a sense of vastness I have rarely experienced before. But it’s a sensation I’ve been feeling almost constantly since Stefano and I set off in our camper van after having been warmly welcomed at Nicole & Marcus’ home in Perth. A happy reunion with one of my oldest friends, a chance to introduce Stefano to her (best friend meets new boyfriend, important milestone, as you all know :-) ) and a good old “girlie catch up” opportunity. After leaving the suburbs of Perth, it was very soon eternal horizons, immense stretches of nothingness and long long hours of driving.

We both love driving. In fact, this was a serious issue before we started the trip, although we went about it jokingly. How much was each of us going to drive? We both negotiated for a maximum amount of drive time, before we had even taken off. While discussing the matter online (before I was back in Thailand), we had agreed on a 30-70 ratio, but had failed to agree on who would do the 30 and who the 70. Fortunately, as with many other “things” we discovered about each other during this trip, things worked out without any hassles. We went about it like mature adults and agreed on 50-50. I just put a little sedative in his morning coffee, pretend I’m ok for him to drive that day, waiting for him to say after the first 30 km “Babe, I’m falling asleep, do you want to drive?” so I can do the driving for the rest of the 600 km we do almost every day. :-)

Let me tell you something about how our relationship evolved. First, we spent three months together in El Gouna, during we which we vehemently denied to the whole El Gouna community as well as to ourselves that we were having a relationship. Then we spent three months apart during which we decided we actually wanted to go for a serious relationship. And now, we are travelling for six weeks (including Thailand and Singapore) and spend approximately 23,5 hours per day together (after subtracting toilet & shower time). We went from one extreme to the other. And we still haven’t tried to kill each other (the sedative dosage is quite harmless, really), I have certainly not been bored and I wake up every morning in our dusty, smelly, rickety old van with a smile on my face and a warm sensation in my heart. It could also be due to the outside temperature reaching 30 degrees at 8 am, but ignoring that, it has a romantic ring to it, doesn’t it?

Anyway, we really got to know each other well, travelling low budget in a camper van. Firstly, if we still did have any issues we were prudish or embarrassed about before the trip, such as those of olfactory and auditory nature, they are are now definitely not an issue anymore - coincidently our Wicked Camper is called Stinky Bum. There is just no room for privacy in a camper van. Secondly, we now know exactly how to get on each other’s nerves which I’m sure will prove useful some day... :-) Thirdly, when you drive up to 10 hours a day, you can talk (or shout actually, as we’re sitting right on top of the engine) a lot. And you can also be quiet together a lot, which tells you many things about the other person too. For me, this road trip is not just about discovering Australia, it’s just as much about discovering Stefano and our relationship...

So we drive a lot. As I write this, we have almost 8.000 km behind us and we did those in 18 days. By the time we get back to Perth, we will have done about 12.000 km in our Wicked Camper. And wicked it is...

The first night in our camper was really very wicked indeed. The van broke down (aaaaaaah, deja vu!!!!!) on the first day on the road, 110 km from Kalgoorlie, just as the sun was setting. So there we were, stranded, no phone network coverage and it was getting dark fast... Stories of road trains (50 meter long trucks) crashing into you or travellers getting mugged, raped and murdered along the road made Stefano slightly nervous, but I was relaxed and thoroughly enjoying reading “The complete guide to guys” by Dave Barry while awaiting help. Luckily, a friendly passerby offered to drive up the road until he would get coverage, made a call to Wicked on our behalf and even came back to tell us that help was on the way. Wicked’s Roadside Assistance took care of it swiftly. 1,5 hours later we were being towed to Kalgoorlie (one of those towns in the middle of bloody nowhere) and at midnight, after a well deserved beer and G&T at the nearest bar we could find, we went to sleep for the first time in our camper van, on top of the towing truck next to the RAC (ANWB) workshop in the industrial neighbourhood of town. How wicked is that... :-)

The next morning a mechanic fixed the problem in 10 minutes by welding an electric wire that had ripped and we were on our way again, doing 500 to 600 km a day. As I wrote before, you don’t see a lot of other people along the way when you’re driving through the outback. So it’s the etiquette to wave at each vehicle passing by (either oncoming or overtaking) as soon as you’re out of the city. I can think of three reasons for that: 1) it’s nice to see other human life in the desert, so it’s just courteous to say hello, 2) it’s possible to fall asleep when driving hundreds of km a day on long straight stretches, so waving keeps you and the other driver alert, 3) it’s extremely cool to drive around in the outback, so waving at each other is acknowledging that the passengers of the other car are very cool too.

There are many “forms” of waves, I’ve studied them. I’ll mention a few, just to illustrate. You have the “just-lift-your-hand-above-the-wheel” wave, simple and straightforward. This one is commonly used by professional, mainly road train drivers. You have the wave whereby the driver is holding his steering wheel at the top with one or both hands and merely lifts one or two fingers of one or both hands, without letting go of the wheel. This one, I noticed, is often done by 4x4 drivers. I think it’s a cool wave, but I can only do that wave when I lean forward, because otherwise my arms are too short to reach the top of the wheel. So I use that wave when I have a sweaty back and need to air it a bit. Then there is the “I’m-a-happy-traveller” wave, which is the one where the whole hand waves about several times, fingers spread, big smile on the face. Usually seen when passing a camper van with 23 year old blonde girls. There are of course also the “peace sign” and the “yoh-dude-thumb-and-pink-up” waves and I even saw the odd “two thumbs up” coming by. Personally, I mostly use the “it’s-hot-and-we-don’t-have-AC” wave, meaning I have the window completely down, lean my arm on the window seal while holding the wheel and when I need to wave, I just lift up my under arm, raising my thumb, index and middle finger, leaving the ring finger and pinkie slight curved for aerodynamic reasons. Last but not least, there is the “Heeeeey-it’s-another-Wicked-Camper-wave”, whereby all the passengers in both cars frantically wave with both hands and the drivers also flash the big lights. It’s a Wicked culture...

To be continued...